TDandHB Title

The Demo Bottom’s Bill of Rights

As a demo bottom, you have the right to…

  • Request the presenter’s resume, and receive referrals on the presenter from previous demo bottoms and students.
  • Have the presenter, prior to the workshop, clearly and specifically explain what will happen during the demo, what the presenter expects from the demo bottom, and any risks associated with the demo, and
  • Ask precisely what the presenter wants and needs, and only consent to those activities that you wish to.
  • Request that no permanent marks or no temporary marks be made to your body during the demo.
  • Negotiate fully for your own needs and wants prior to the workshop, through email, phone, and/or in person and establish a safeword or safewords prior to the demo.
  • Be addressed by the name you wish, the terms you prefer for yourself (boy, ma’am, etc.) and your genitals, and have your preferred pronouns used by the presenter; likewise, you have the right to not be called by terms that are offensive to you.
  • Have all safer sex and disease transmission precautions available used in conjunction with your class
  • Not be exposed to potentially harmful chemicals topically (through use of lubricants, for example), through ingestion, or through inhalation, without your explicit consent.
  • Request and receive neutral treatment as a demo bottom and not be dominated, submitted to, switched, or otherwise assumed to be in a D/s relationship that you are not currently in with the presenter—unless you negotiate and consent to a power dynamic before the demo
  • Speak freely during the demo, communicate with and provide feedback to the presenter, unless otherwise pre-negotiated
  • Utilize your safeword(s) and/or call a stop to your participation in the class at any time, for any reason, without fear of embarrassment or retribution
  • Be treated with respect by the presenter at all times, without non-consensual humiliation, degradation or embarrassment
  • Not be touched or demonstrated on by anyone other than the presenter without giving explicit permission prior to the class
  • Have safe, clean, new, sealed, sterilized instruments (whatever is applicable to the demo) used on you and not be exposed to hazardous or dangerous conditions, including cross-contamination
  • Limit any photographs taken based on your previously stated privacy agreement, and only have photographs taken by designated event photographers.

As a demo bottom, you have the responsibility to…

  • Arrive for the class at the time determined by the presenter, with any negotiated preparations complete (ie: anal cleansing, shower, pre-written information)
  • Arrive in good health, non-intoxicated, and with any medications or other supplies needed for your health and well being
  • Bring someone with you for support and aftercare, if you wish
  • Communicate clearly and honestly with the presenter before, during, and after the class about your physical, emotional, and mental health
  • Explicitly state the following to the presenter: your preferred name and title if any, your preferred pronoun, your preferred words to describe your genitals (when applicable), your past experience with the demo activity, your safeword, your limits and boundaries, your medical history if relevant, and your concerns, if any.

Used with the permission of the authors.


© 2010 by Sarah Sloane and Tristan Taormino Enterprises, Inc. Cannot be used without permission.